The Tongue
Series: Kinetic Righteousness
October 24, 2021 - Beth Coker
Everybody, I am Beth Coker, and I hail from southern Oregon. The first service Ryan introduced me and he gets off the stage and it's like, “Oh my gosh, I forgot to tell them you're coming.” I said “Ryan, I got this,” so I'm just excited to be back here with you again this morning.
And the last time I was here, the Phoenix Suns were rocking it on the basketball court, and this time the Cardinals are the only undefeated team left in the NFL. Phoenix, you're doing something right here. Awesome.
So it's my privilege this morning to keep tracking with you through the James book. He is an in-your-face kind of writer, and so we're going to be looking this morning at James Chapter three. So open your Bibles with me or your apps on your phones, your iPads, however you like to look at the word of God. We are going to be in James 3:1-12.
Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
On the morning of September 18 or September 8 a year ago —
Sorry. Is this working now? Oh, I like to teach with my hands and now I can't teach with my hands because they have to hold this mic. David broke the other head mic. So this is a new one and it's not working. Wait until I talk to David.
Anyway, on the morning of September 8 last year, a small brushfire lurched to life in a dry brush field north of Ashland, Oregon, parallel to Interstate 5. Strong winds soon pushed the fire along a bike path, burning eventually power poles, blackberry vines and eventually homes. There was a red flag warning, predicting gusts of wind upward of 50 miles an hour, which was devastating news for Oregon firefighters.
There were no resources available due to the other fires already burning in California. And moments later, there were notifications of other fires started along the same bike path and the Alameda Fire quickly roared to life. Winds carried embers hundreds of feet ahead of the fire line, starting spot fires and overwhelming firefighting efforts.
This was the work of an arson. Cell phone video captured burning asphalt driveways, homes, fire hydrants and downtown businesses. Firefighters reported 30-feet tall flames on either side of them, pushed by powerful winds and destroying entire neighborhoods in a matter of minutes.
Even fire hydrants were running dry, and the fire chief was quoted as saying, “We did everything we could to stop this thing. And we just couldn't. There was nothing we could do to save homes, businesses, even lives. We felt so defeated when we knew there was no help coming. There was just no stopping it.”
The Alameda Fire burned more than 3,500 acres and destroyed over 3,000 homes and structures, including one of the district's firehouses. Death and destruction by fire.
The tongue is just as capable of this level of destruction. And we just read that James writes about the tongue, and he says, “See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire.”
And although it is not the strongest muscle in the body, the tongue is made up of eight different muscles. And like our heart, it is always working even when we're sleeping. The tongue is constantly pushing saliva down our throat. It never gets tired. It is so powerful it can destroy lives with a single spark and wreak havoc that lasts for years before any rebuilding is accomplished.
Now, scientists and ecologists tell us that it takes an average of eleven years for land to recover after it has been burned by a wildfire. Think how much longer it takes a person to recover after the damage done to them by someone's tongue.
And yet we are built for words. We are made Imago Day — in the image of God. In Genesis one, we read that God spoke the very worlds into being. This was how he created us.
Our tongues enable us to chew, to taste, to swallow and articulate distinct sounds so that we can communicate. Words are what set human beings apart from the animals. Now, studies show that the average person speaks about 11 million words a year. It's easier to believe that about some people than others. I have friends — and maybe a few family members — who can possibly speak 11 million words in a month.
We have an incessant need for words, and our words are incredibly powerful. Military leaders throughout history realized that the spoken word was the most powerful weapon in the world, and they use that in propaganda. Words can build up, encourage, motivate people. Winston Churchill was the master of it. “Never give in. Never, never, never, never.” And yet the enemy uses propaganda to tear down. Our words are like that. We can either build up or tear down hurt and cause horrible scars.
Finish this sentence for me. “Sticks and stones can break my bones…”
I don't know who came up with that, but they lied. Words can break your heart. And some of us are living with the scars of the hurtful words of others, from our parents, from siblings, from friends.
I grew up with a father who was verbally abusive. Angry words came from him — and nothing I did growing up was ever good enough. It didn't matter if I excelled academically or in sports or in music endeavors. There was always something I could have done better. I was never good enough. It took me years to silence that voice. And sadly, some of that behavior carried into my own parenting when my girls were young.
And this verse hit me very early on in parenting Proverbs 18:21: “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Life and death.
You see in a surgeon’s skilled hand a scalpel can help preserve life, but a criminal can use that same sharpened blade to bring death. A nurse can administer and use a needle to give medicine and promote healing, but a drug pusher can use that same needle to cause death.
The power of life and death is in our tongue. And you've known that with words that you've spoken to people. The smile on your child's face when you tell them, “You are so special, you can do great things.” Or the hurt that registers on their face when you criticize them with words like this, "You'll never amount to anything. Why can't you be more like your brother? You're not good enough.” Or your spouse. You withdraw after you're under constant criticism. You verbally attack the spouse and they don't want to be around anymore. Friends stop texting you to hang out because of your cutting sarcasm, your acerbic wit. They don't want to be on the brunt end of that. A teacher or coach can inspire you to do great things and push you and motivate you to be incredible, or they can put you down in front of the classroom or the whole team and cause you to never want to try again. Our words are powerful and our words matter to God.
Remember what happened to Miriam, the sister of Moses, in Numbers one, when she spoke against Moses with criticism and she used rude, racist words about his Ethiopian wife? God struck her with leprosy. Our words matter to God, and he's listening.
Matthew 12:36, Jesus said this, “I tell you that on the day of judgment, people will have to account for every careless word they speak.”
That should sober us immediately and cause us to ask God to put a guard over our mouths, as David did in Psalm 140:13. He said, “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord. Keep watch over the door of my lips.”
Abraham Lincoln said this: “It is better to remain silent and thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
For over 6,000 years, the tongue has been the tool that men and women have used to cause more heartache, more pain, more mistrust and more anger than all the other muscles in our body put together. Our tongue is so powerful that it causes betrayals, murders, wars and riots. Prejudice has been passed down from generation to generation. Hate has been seeded into family lines, and slander has been planted by the old into the young.
The tongue is a factor in the destruction of friendships, relationships and families, and it is a major factor in separation and divorces. A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that gets sharper with constant use. I must say that again. A sharp tongue is the only edged tool that gets sharper with constant use.
This is what James is addressing in chapter three of his book. And he starts the chapter by giving a warning to teachers or any believer wanting to become a teacher. He says to us, “Don't run quickly to the role of teaching.” Why? You become a target. Every word you speak is scrutinized, and it is a huge responsibility when you teach, he says to us that we are all teachers at some point, not just up here on the stage. In the home, we teach. In friendships, we teach, we counsel. On our campus, we are teachers. People are watching us. In a sport team, we’re teachers. In a musical ensemble, we can be teachers. Whenever we open our mouths, what comes out of us can be used as teaching.
And James gives us a warning about the tongue in the power of our words. He says, “Speak truth, not personal opinions.” And then he warns us: don't take the handling of God's word lightly. Too many people's lives are at stake to just wing it.
In counseling with other people, be so careful that what you're speaking is scripture and you know it to be so. I cringe when I hear believers sharing things that are colloquialisms like, “Well, where God shuts the door, he opens a window.” That is not in the Bible. It’s in the Sound of Music. And I hear it often quoted as a biblical reference.
As teachers, we're expected to live the truth, not just teach it. Would those closest to you, say that you live what you teach? As I dug into this passage in James and studied it, prayed about it, I spent a couple of weeks with my girls and there were many times I had to apologize for my words, a critical word, or the tone of my words. Am I living what I teach to those closest around me?
Now, James goes on to use examples to illustrate the power of our tongue in verse 3. He tells us that the tongue is like a bit in the horse's mouth. It's just a small piece of metal or a few straps of leather that can control the movement of the entire horse.
I grew up with horses, and when I was in high school and college, I had a horse that was 17 hands high. She was an American Saddlebred — powerful — and she could run like the wind. My dad clocked her at about 40 miles an hour. I was really glad for that bit in her mouth, that I could stop her and I could control her, or she would have run away with me. The bit in the mouth can control that whole horse.
In verse 4, James tells us the tongue is like a rudder on a ship. Powerful ocean liners, these massive hulks of steel, can be steered by a small flap of metal, and it determines the course of that ship.
Now, both of these things are similes. The tongue is like a bit. The tongue is like a rudder. And to work properly and to accomplish good things, both bit and rudder have to be under the control of a strong hand. And my tongue must overcome the contrary force of my flesh and be under God's wise control if it is going to accomplish anything good.
A few weeks ago, I spent some time with my daughter on the Air Force Base, where she is a fighter pilot down there. And as I walked down to the flight line each morning just to watch her take off in her jet, I would stand by the control tower to know when she would receive the all clear for takeoff.
Now in a jet, you can hear it before you can see it and the ground starts to shake. So I was standing there waiting for her to take off, and all these other little planes were buzzing around or taking off from the runways. And I would think to myself, Would you little planes just get out of the way so I can watch my daughter take off on her jet?
And then I looked over at the control tower in this busy airspace and I thought how important that control tower was. The words coming from the person in that control tower would say things like, “Clear for takeoff on runway one. Tail number 548 to go around again. Not clear for takeoff.” It’s really busy. And that control tower gave clearance for everything that happened on the runway. Nothing happened without permission from them.
If there was no control tower and the pilots didn't heed that warning, planes would crash, they’d land on top of each other, or they'd have to quickly go off the runway to avoid the powerful jets coming down. Death and destruction would ensue.
It was a powerful illustration to me of how busy my mind is with words. There are so many words flying around in my head all the time, waiting to take off or land. And I'm often idling on the runway, waiting for those who are speaking their little words to hurry up so my big, important words can fly. I need a control tower guiding my tongue. “Beth, that hurtful word — don’t say it. But that word of encouragement let it take off. That's a go. Send that DM to that person. They need to hear your word of encouragement today. It'll make them smile. But that critical word, you don't need to share that. If you do, you will destroy them with your afterburner fire.”
You see, the plane that my daughter flies, the F-15, is always loaded with missiles ready to fire. The missiles are laser or radar guided, and they lock onto the target and they seek it out until they have destroyed it. And the missiles are called “fire and forget,” because once it is locked onto the target, the pilot can just fire and forget it, knowing that that missile will seek out and destroy what it was sent to.
So, too with my tongue. I can send deadly missiles aimed at a certain person, knowing they're going to hit the target. I need the Holy Spirit to be my control tower.
Now, James is so emphatic about the power of the tongue that in verse 5, he switches to using a metaphor, stating that the tongue is a fire, and he does this to illustrate the devastation of the tongue, as we talked about previously. If we do not use our tongues with great caution, we are like spiritual arsonists lighting careless fires that cause widespread destruction.
And in verse 6, he writes, “Our tongue is a world of iniquity. It defiles our whole body. It sets on fire the course of our life. It is set on fire by hell itself.”
Those are harsh words from James. He's saying that the full range of our sin, our immorality finds an outlet through our tongue. And hell is just waiting for a chance to influence our tongues, an opportunity to span that spark into a fire. You see, it's almost impossible to seethe with anger without expressing our rage in words.
When my girls were little, Sunday mornings just seemed to be a morning full of strife all the time. I'd be hustling them through breakfast to get them ready on time to get to church. I’d say, “Hurry up and get done with your breakfast. I need you to go put the dresses on that I laid out for you.”
“Mom, I don't want to put a dress on. I want to wear shorts.”
“You're going to wear the dress that I set out for. You were going to church.”
“But I hate dresses. They're itchy, Mom.”
“Put the dress on and find your shoes and socks and get ready for church!”
We'd load up in the car. One person wouldn't be there and I'd go in the house. “I can't find my shoes.”
“You have one minute to find your shoes and get in the car or we're leaving without you.”
That was Christlike behavior going to church. So we'd finally get in the car and I'd apologize over half the way to church for my angry words. I think the enemy just knew on Sunday mornings to come after me with my tongue. Maybe that's not your house on a Sunday morning, but that was ours. Harsh, angry words.
Maybe bitterness sours your speech. Remember the Israelites grumbling in the wilderness that Moses brought them out there and then, “We don't have any food, we don't have any water.” Their murmuring led to rebellion and sin, and they did not enter the promised land.
How often aren't we complaining and bitter about something in life that came our way? What about our pride? David taught a few weeks ago on Chapter 4 in James and he touched on this as a roadblock to righteousness. Our pride rambles on and on. We think we have such important things to say and we need to be heard. Or at least we need to be the one with the last word in the argument and be right all the time.
Not Jesus. He didn't come to be right. He came to love. We don't need to be right and win the argument and lose that relationship.
What about hate? Hate explodes from our lips, the vitriolic language we use in our social media posts. To me, social media is the Coward's Palace. People will post things on there that they would never say to someone face to face. They'll even post anonymously to rip other people apart. It is heartbreaking to me to read of tragic stories of teens being bullied online with words that drive them to suicide. These things should not be.
What about gossip? Well, we don't gossip in the church, do we? No, we cover it over like this: “I need you to pray about something. I need you to pray for someone. Let me tell you what I need you to pray about for them.”
And I'll stop people right there, and I'll say, “Can I quote you on this?”
“Well, no, no, I just need you to pray for them.”
“I know. But can I quote you on what you're going to say?”
That's the end of the conversation.
Right there, the tongue can turn suddenly a gentle person into a monster. We slander one another. That's defamation of character with the intent to destroy a relationship. Happens on junior high and high school and college campuses daily, destroying a reputation.
In James 4:11, he writes, “Don't speak evil against each other, brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God's law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you slandering one another.”
We play the role of judge. We imagine ourselves as superior to other Christians, and we put them down using the law. News flash: there is one judge — and you are not it.
We see slander in social media and attacks from one believer to another. Facebook, Twitter, they're full of them. God is the law giver and judge. He alone is able to save and destroy. James goes on in verse 12 and packs a real punch in the Greek. He says, “Who are you to judge your neighbor?”
And we could paraphrase that, saying. “Who do you think you are? Who made you God?”
James uses some powerful words here to tell us that our tongue has some connection to hell, that tongue is set on fire by hell itself. Now the Greek word there translated “hell” is gehenna. And the Jews that James is addressing would have caught his meaning instantly. You see, Gehenna refers to the Hinnom Valley, which runs along the south side of Jerusalem, and during the time of James’ writing, residents of Jerusalem would stack all their garbage and filth in the Hinnom Valley, where it was often burned. So it is as if James is saying to his readers, “You know that stinky, smoldering trash dump south of town? Our tongues are just like that.”
When we start our uncontrolled dump of consciousness, the garbage in our hearts is set on fire. And like the putrid smoke that reminds us that garbage is burning in that Hinnom Valley, our tongues let everybody hear the wickedness in our hearts. Most of us speak out against murder, sex trafficking, social injustice and other heinous sins. Yet we tolerate gossip, slander. We complain. We speak deceit. We speak half truths. We use sarcastic put-downs. Crude jokes or language, and we do other sins of the tongue as if they are no big deal. They destroy other people and we must be bold enough to confront these sins in our own hearts.
In Luke 6 Jesus is telling his disciples a parable about trees being known for their fruit, and he says to them, "A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.”
What you say flows from what is in your heart. We don't have the ability to keep our tongues in check. But when God sits on the throne of our hearts, the power of the Holy Spirit can transform our heart and take full control of our tongues.
Now I'm a pickleball player. I love to play pickleball. I play in tournaments and with a lot of different social groups. And sometimes a new person will walk onto the court and maybe they'll have a T-shirt on that has scripture on it. And I noticed one man the other day. He had a T-shirt that came out and it had Ephesians 6 on about the armor of God and the power of God. And I was like, "Way to go! Boldness of your faith. That is fantastic.” And I couldn't wait to meet him. It only took me five minutes watching him play and listening to his language that would make a military general blush. I was so disheartened. Oh, he was talking to Jesus Christ and God, but not in a prayerful or reverent way at all. I almost wanted him to take the shirt off right then. I thought, You are not repping what a Christ follower should sound like. You sound like the world. The treasury of his heart was clearly evident through his language.
James, 1:26: “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, his religion is worthless.”
And only when Jesus is Lord of our lives will he also be Lord of our lips. Our tongue is the barometer of our spiritual walk. And I want you to ask yourself this morning, is your tongue lit by heaven or hell? Is it connected to the Spirit or to the sewer? In verse 8, James tells us with our tongue, we bless our Lord and Father, and with it, we use it to curse men who are made in the image of God. From the same mouth come both blessing and cursing.
Is the fountain from your tongue sending out both fresh and bitter water? We sing praises to God on Sunday mornings. We bless you, Lord. We love you, Jesus. We sang it this morning and immediately some of you will walk out these doors and complain about the loud music, or someone you saw at church, or what they were wearing, or the parking issues, or the idiots on the road when you leave this place, and you will talk about it through lunch. There are people listening to your words. Your children are listening.
Blessing and cursing. Are they coming from the same mouth? What flows from our mouths and our tongues can cause our minds and hearts to become bitter and begin to poison everything within us, if we give in to it. We need the cross to remove the bitterness from our hearts before bitterness spews from our tongues.
In Exodus 15 (NASB), we read about how Moses is leading the Israelites out of Egypt, and it says
Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea, and they went out into the wilderness of Shur; and they went three days in the wilderness and found no water. When they came to Marah, they could not drink the waters of Marah, because they were bitter; for that reason it was named Marah. So the people grumbled at Moses, saying, “What are we to drink?” Then he cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a tree; and he threw it into the waters, and the waters became sweet.
The tree. The cross. Let God change the anger or bitterness stored in your heart by putting the cross in. We need the sweetness of the redemptive work of the cross to cleanse our hearts and tongues from bitterness, cynicism, sarcasm, hurtful, angry words that we aim at people.
No man can tame the tongue, but God can. He can do that by changing our hearts. Ask him to change yours. Maybe you're sitting there thinking, Well, you know, great, Beth, but that's just how God made me. I'm just a vocal person. I'm opinionated and strong, and I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. That is just a really lame excuse for not wanting to change.
God can begin this work in us. So I give you an assignment for this week, something to practice for this week, to think about the words before you speak or post, or send an email. And use this acrostic: THINK T? Is it True? H. Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind?
Practice this when you’ve had a hard day at work, maybe failed a test at school, your team lost again, the drivers on the road. A friend lied to you. Your roommate left the dishes in the sink again. The kids are bugging you. Stop. Take a deep breath and think about the consequences of your words before they come out of your mouth; because the moment they leave your mouth, it's impossible to take them back.
Delete the email that is sarcastic or cynical or hurtful. You don't have to respond to everything or argue about everything. You don't have to win every argument. Some of the words that we say take a few seconds to say them, but years to repair and recover from the devastating fire that we've done.
Speak words of life to those around us. The power of life and death is in the tongue. Jesus spoke words of life. He spoke words of peace. He spoke words of healing. He spoke words of hope. His was a heart of love, to heal, to restore, to bring help to a hurting world. Is yours a heart of love this week? Use your words to encourage the disheartened. Inspire the weak and the weary. Heal a broken heart. Offer someone hope. Apologize. Never underestimate the power of an apology.
What you say flows from what is in your heart. Ask God to change your heart and let the Holy Spirit be your control tower. May the words of your mouth and the meditations of your heart be acceptable in his sight, oh Lord, your rock and your redeemer.
Pray with me, please.
Father, we come before you this morning. We confess that our tongue is full of poison. It's a restless evil. We're so quick to speak, Lord, and slow to listen.
Forgive us. Lord, we ask and repent. We ask your forgiveness, Lord, for the hurtful things we've said. We're sorry, Lord, for the words we’ve spoken in anger or gossip. Change our hearts this morning, Lord. Holy Spirit, be our control tower.
Lord, help us to be people who are full of loving words — words of grace and mercy, words of truth. We submit our hearts to you this morning, Father.
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